Do I Care If I Have Direction?

 As previously mentioned I am an undergraduate student at a prestigious SEC school (University of Kentucky), you're jealous I know.  But you're not jealous that I am in my 6th year of undergraduate study and still pursuing that first bachelor's degree.  I attended the local "Harvard on the Hill" in my hometown area, not permitted to go away for my first year.  Upon transferring from ACC to Morehead State University I was screwed out of 8 credit hours, I believed the term used was "Non-Transferable Credits"  I think I racked up more NTC than I did regular credits in my first three years.  Not wanting to be out done, the University of Kentucky saw Morehead's 8 hours and up'ed the ante to 15, giving me a whopping 23 Non-Transferable Credits from certified degree granting institutions.  I am glad I left ACC when I did, because in my second year at MSU, after the consolidation of all Kentucky's community and technical colleges. ACC was placed on probation for "Inadequate Academic Programs" meaning the, and I use this term loosely, "professor's" were either not challenging their classes enough or they were not properly accredited.

    Just a little background before I share my thoughts.... Here we go with my musings

    I have become complacent academically.  There I said it.  I am finally less than 2 semesters away (rest of this current one, plus one summer semester) from getting that bachelor's degree and I really am just sick of trying. I have been in college for six freaking years!!! I don't want to do it anymore, I don't want to play student anymore. I quit!

    I have also become stale with studying because I am earning a Bachelor's of Arts in Psychology.... WTF am I going to do post graduation?  I don't want to go into psychology.  I am currently leaning towards Law school, with a desire to get into politics. I however am not a liar, not deceitful, not morally corrupt, and most importantly do NOT wish to be.  I am currently looking for an internship opportunity with a law firm or political group.  This is the farthest I have ever gone with my major.  I have had several previous, here's the list (in chronological order): 

Undecided
Pre-Chiropractic
Biology
Pre-Med
Undecided
Radiology
Undecided
Psychology

I am actually quite impressed with that list myself.  However I have been a psychology major for 6 semesters, roughly 3 school years.  I will, baring any unexpected change in plans, will finish with my degree this coming August.

    Because of this complacency my GPA has slipped.  I spent 3 semesters on "Academic Probation."  I am the only one my advisor has seen allowed to return to classes with a 3rd semester of probation under their belt.  This is because the University only allows two consecutive semesters before requiring a mandatory "year off."  I was an exception, there are two reasons you can be put on academic probation, and though the letter you receive doesn't specify as to which category of failure you fall under, it's rather easy to deduce.  I spent two semesters with a College of Arts and Sciences - Psychology of under 2.0; the third semester was just your basic overall GPA below a 2.0.  My GPA last semester was a 3.0.  My current cumulative GPA is 3.2.  Quite the turnaround, but I am sick of it.  I was denied my financial aid because of my history with academic probation, which is bureaucratic bullshit!  The Financial Aid Office said to my face that "You're not a sound academic investment."  Can you believe that garbage?!?! I am or at least was a sound academic investment, I have pulled my GPA up over a whole point since then, am I not determined?  Was I not currently making the grades?  So not only am I complacent, but I am pissed I am paying for my own mediocrity. 

    I don't feel like I am headed the right direction, but have NO idea what the right direction is...

The Guantlet

I need something new. Something special.  I need a project of some kind, or maybe a creative outlet of some form.  I am currently inbetween semesters and have an ample amount of free time but little to no cash.

See Also: Broke College Student

I need some kind of project to occupy my time.  I have rattled around several ideas.  I like to listen to podcasts and thought maybe I could start my own, but I have a backlog of 20+ unheard episodes.  Plus, there are already multiple podcasts dedicated to anything and everything you could think of.  I wanted to read more, and I have plenty of down time at my job to do that.  I currently have read 3 books and still have about 15 more days before the semester picks back up and I have to put pleasure reading on hold.  I also wanted to learn a forgein language but am doing that when the semester starts (Spanish 102).

See Also: Graduation Requirement

I want to take lessons to learn to play acoustic guitar but can't afford lessons (I have the guitar though).  I want to do something more than watch a TV series or play video games.  I have looked at several DIY project but unfortunately have no money for whatever parts maybe required.  

I used to be the type of person that always had to be doing something like working, playing, working out, reading, studying, etc... Currently I feel like my life has lost structure.  I have no routine, and that has caused my self dicipline to slack.  My New Years resolution last year was to hold myself accountable for my irresponsobilities (i.e. skipping class, tardy to work, etc...) and that went well until March-ish.  I was forced to redevolpe self-dicipline and try hard to keep it.  I have never had a resolution and kept it for a whole year (I only know one person who has successfully done that).  

I am staring down my last semester in college, and I fell slighty retarded.  I am 24 years old, have been in college since august 2003 and don't have a bachalor's degree yet.  Granted I am a semester away I really hate that it has taken me this long.  I have high school classmates that have graduated gotten degrees and have started their careers already.  I have high school classmates that are getting ready to graduate from Law School.  I just feel like I am falling behind because I have had so many options open to me for so long I couldn't decide where to go, what to study, or even where to study it.  Now my choices are very limited.  My G.P.A. has slipped lower and lower each semester I have been in school.  I don't know what I want to do with my degree.  I would like to go to law school myself but I don't think I will get accepted anywhere because I have always done just the bare minimum.  The bare minimum got me a high school diploma with honors and one of the top 15 in my class (#14), a 3.5 G.P.A. my first year in college, then total systems collapse.  I am struggling to get my GPA back above a 3.0 before I graduate.  I have procrastinated so long I am now forced to take a year off after undergraduate is done and study up for the LSAT because I have waited to long to apply and not many law schools have a rolling application process.  Damn that was kind of a pity party huh? Sorry... It just kinda rushed out of me.

I am currently wondering if anyone else has ever had a moment where somebody told you something that you knew, but weren't consciously aware that you knew.  Like you just hadn't put two and two together yet.  I am questioning my onwn perceptiveness in a way.

I tend to be a jack-of-all-trades kinda guy.  I can't think of anything I can't do, or can't learn to do.  The problem is I am a master of none of the trades I have.  I workout hard but am not in shape, I can computer program but, again, minimumly, I can play the three songs I tought myself on guitar but I've had the guitar for a year and can't afford lessons.  I am handy with tools, but almost always overlook some minor detail that screws up something else that I have to go back and fix.  I can write well, but not structured (and I'm worried this isn't even going to be entertaining for someone else).  I guess I lack determination to follow-up on things.  I have the desire to do it though, and we have now reached my starting point.

I am using this blog to chronicle my resolution to "follow through." By this I mean I plan to be more self-diciplined, to be more decisive, and to work my way through the crossroads I wil be faced with in May, without haveing a total meltdown.

I will be using the S.M.A.R.T. plan to try and keep my resolution all year.  First thing is first, small steps.  Make another blog post within a week.

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